Friday 29 August 2008

Day Six

Nan you lived a life that was simple and pure,
Your'e with the angels now wer'e sure.

Thursday 28 August 2008

Day Five

Nanny's coming home! She has been in the hospital morgue since sunday morning whilst arrangements were made she is going to the funeral home today so she can lay in peace their until the funeral which is next friday.

Wednesday 27 August 2008

Day Four

My Nan


Nan youv'e left a hole we can never fill,
Life has changed time stands still.
In the weeks and months that follow,
Your loss is a bitter pill to swallow.

Our memories will keep you alive,
And to make you proud we will strive.
As we try to get through each day,
We remember you in our own special way.

In future we will keep you a chair,
Though not in body your spirit is their.
In future we will raise a glass,
To you and us and good times past.
In future we will have to blink,
I'm sure l see your naughty wink.

Nan our only comfort is that at least,
Now Nan you can rest in peace.

Tuesday 26 August 2008

day three

Today l cried l promised myself that l wouldn't and l have held myself together but today it got the better of me. I keep thinking of my nan laying on a cold slab in the hospital morgue and that is really hard to deal with l now know why people say remember them as you last saw them. I remember her always so busy and full of life its so hard to deal with the fact that she is dead. All of us are having to find a way to deal with our grief we all have our "if onlys". I wish l had called her after l saw her at mums l wish l had gone to see her. I wish when she was here l hadn't taken her back to that house but she wanted to go.

Daniel my eldest has taken it really hard this is the first time any of us have had to deal with death directly and its really hard. He wants to use £100 of his wages to pay for a big flower arrangement.I am going to let him because thats his way of coping and l think its admirable for a lad of his age to want to do that for his nan.

My brother thinks someone who my mum hates and didn't know my nan should come to the funeral.I am furious and told him so. This is about us grieving for my nan and mum saying goodbye to her mum not a public spectacle for the town gypo.

Monday 25 August 2008

Day Two

Its the 2nd day and l don't think the reality of it has sunk in yet, We heard today that my uncle wasn' with her when she died because he was "depressed". A woman of 84 lives her whole life to die without her family around her. If we had known where she was we would have been their in a flash.

The last time l spoke to her she said she was going to knit my four year old daughter some baby clothes for her doll because she hasn't seen her in so long she felt bad because she wasn't at their birthday party in July. At the bottom of this page is a video of her at my mums birthday party two years ago.She was always at the centre of everything. It will never be possible to fill the whole that she has left.

When my 16 year old son was two he called her "Nanny whitehead" we thought she would be so offended but she loved it and has been known as nanny whitehead ever since by all the grandchildren.

Sunday 24 August 2008

I remember my nan as someone who always has a laugh she used to come down every sunday when we were kids, she never missed a christmas day evening at our house when we were younger and even after we all left home and started having our own children she would never miss a day and we would never dream of missing a day with her.

Tribute to my Nan

Today my sister rang me and told me that my nan had died, I wasn't shocked, when l saw her a month ago my first thought was that she wouldn't live to see christmas and l was right. My nan a feisty woman who was as strong as an ox was a shell of her former self. She had disapeared before our very eyes and it is totally down to the piece of ---t who was supposed to be caring for her.

Its a long story but its irrelavent the life of my nan is whats important, this is a tribute to a very special lady who was a major part of all our lives untill she was taken from us in the cruelest way possible. While she lay dying in hospital we lay sleeping because her "carers" didn't ring us to tell us she was in hospital. How do we live with that.